In My Hands

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On my hard drive: Geometry Wars 2

Also thinking about getting into my hands: Braid, Bionic Commando, Galaga Legions

Plugging In

I’m finally plugging back in after a week of almost complete disconnectedness. The missus and I took a week-long vacation with no kids and no connections. The only communication I had were brief posts to my Twitter via text messages from my cell phone. I never checked email, the site, nothing. It felt great. Untethered and fancy free.

But now it’s back to the real world. I’m behind on my emails and what-not around here, so if you’ve emailed me recently — I’m getting to it, I promise. I’m dreading the pile of work awaiting me tomorrow. Not fun. On top of all that, my daughter starts kindergarten tomorrow. Things are going to be crazy around these parts for a little while.

But after the trip, I’m feeling refreshed and ready to get back to normal. At least until the next trip.

[2 Minute Review] Bully: Scholarship Edition

Can an ape work his way to the top of the school social pyramid?

Yes, and the journey is satisfying.

DO: Crack heads, kiss girls and uh…well, attend classes, and run from authority figures to be the big man on campus

TYPE: Third-person sandbox

PLATFORM: 360 (reviewed here) and Wii

PRICE: $29.99

MEAT: You play as Jimmy Hopkins—misfit, intellectual, romantic, mascot, leader, and above all, bully. There are four cliques in the school and they all hate each other. Your job is to unite the geeks, preps, greasers, and jocks under one banner—Jimmy’s. All the while, you have to go to classes and perform mini-games for clothing and skills upgrades. You can skip them as well. However, skipping and not being in dress code will land you a beatdown by the school’s prefects if caught. You’ll eventually get to wander all over the town that surrounds the school and be able to perform numerous missions and side quests in order to be the guy in charge of it all. Of course, someone else has the same idea. This has all been done before in 2006 on the PS2. Yep, this is a port with a couple of additions, including new game stopping glitches.

PERKS: excellent style and presentation, well paced, some great achievements for the whores, 20+ hours of play; mini-games are not lame—well, most are not; stellar voice acting (best I’ve ever seen, er, heard), excellent motion capture; superb dialogue; numerous LOL moments

SCREAMS: to have been better tested—the second time around (360 version—there is a patch, thankfully); some achievements are silly repetitive time sinks that you would not do in the general order of play; to have better controls in the mini games—timing is brutal on some; to have had an online or, better yet, co-op component; the main villain is a downer; buttonmashing traverses Billy faster but it offers no benefit the faster you mash; to have an auto-save feature (don’t ask)

VERDICT: +. Get it if you’ve never played the PS2 version.

I find it funny most profesisonal reviewers don’t do this, but here’s my gamercard to show I completed the game.

The flying rat infestation

Speaking of GTA IV and cheats, I recently uploaded a set of three maps to Flickr that have the locations of all the pigeons in the city (again, there’s an achievement for that). Now that I’ve finished the game and Niko has done what he needed to do, I suddenly feel a responsibility to clean up the pigeon problem in Liberty City.

If you’re like me and you’re interested in exterminating all the flying rats, you can check out the Flickr set here. I’ve embedded the images after the jump.

Read more

[2 Minute Review] Top Spin 3

Should I break a sweat playing a sports game?

Well, I maybe didn’t break a sweat, but I did cramp my brain.

DO: Play possibly the most realistic tennis game ever. Overhand smashes, drop shots at the net and grunts that would make Maria Sharapova proud. (Okay, maybe that was just me)

TYPE: Tennis (hopefully that’s obvious).

PLATFORM: Xbox 360 (also available on everything else but the PC).

PRICE: $59.99 on the 360.

MEAT: On the surface, it’s another sports game. Where Top Spin 3 really shines is its complexity. At times it can be extremely difficult and hard to get used to, but it becomes second nature pretty quickly. The tutorials are very well done, and get deep fast. It may be a surprise, but I’m not a professional tennis player. So I can’t say if this “feels” right, but some of the shots definitely feel like they should.

There’s a career mode, of course, which I spent most of my time in. There’s nothing new here. Play some matches, get some points to get better skills, rinse, repeat. It’s fun, it’s addictive and I’ll be playing this much more. Oh, and the character creator? My daughter could have played with that for hours. Yay for electronic paper dolls!

PERKS: We’re getting dangerously close to the uncanny valley. Not sure if that’s a perk?

SCREAMS: Nothing new? Even though this is the first Top Spin game I’ve played, I’ve played enough sports games to know there’s only so much improvement can be made. It also can be insanely complex if you want it to.

VERDICT: Tennis fans and sports fans know what they’re getting. It’s a good buy for a specific group of gamers. You know whether you are in that group or not. If you’re not, you probably won’t be playing this.

Too Human: I’ll Ask It Again

Is it any good? Personally, I need to see more blog reviews of games. I mean, we are the ones in the trenches. We are the ones playing games (hopefully) for enjoyment. It’s not our job to quick-play and meet a deadline and look over our shoulders at the marketing department.

Aeropause seems to think it’s good—and I don’t mean like those feminist yogurt commercials good.

Being that I am only halfway through the games main story I can’t really review it, but from what I have played so far I think the game is worthy of a 80% score. It would be a shame if this game doesn’t get a chance to improve upon itself with a sequel because of a few reviewers who just didn’t get the game. I know this is only my opinion but I truly think that Too Human is a game worthy of your money.

In the post, the author does seem to cover more of the negative aspects of the game. (I want to hear positive, people!) However, he thinks it’s a solid 80%. I’ve also heard this from others.

I think what I can honestly deduce from this game is that it does a good job of creating the love it/hate it mentality. There’s not much in the middle of the road.

Here’s the callout: show us some blog reviews in your comments below…or review it yourself.

Is Too Human Any Good?

I know that one of the games (released today) has been on some of our readers minds for a while now. It’s just recently come up on mine. I’m actually in the process of playing through some 360 games so I can trade them in (NEW RULE: one game at a time—more on that later). I was even thinking of using the credit for Too Human. Things are not looking bright with the mainstream hardcore press.

From Gamespot—who gave the game a 5.5—a surprisingly low score for a AAA developer. Here’s their opening salvo:

Too Human drops a juicy plot development at the most inopportune time: its very end. It’s the obvious manner of setting up a sequel, the infamous “to be continued…” we’ve come to expect from television shows and, yes, even some modern video games. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it exemplifies the core experience of this action/role-playing hybrid. Too Human is a game of false starts and unrealized potential that infiltrate almost every aspect of the game, from story, to combat, to balance. Its elements feel stitched together, making for a patchwork quilt of a game that’s fraying at the seams.

Probably of all the mainstream reviewing sites, I trust Gamespot the most. Only once or twice have they ever steered me wrong. This does not bode well. I had mentioned on other forums that the lack of pre-release reviews was not a good sign. It usually never works in the developer’s favor.

After playing the unispiring demo, and like I’ve mentioned to others, I’m not paying $60 for this game—in credit or cash. Unless there’s some hidden ecstacy or bliss that the reviewers are overlooking. Sites like Gamespot, Gamespy, and 1up are being the most critical. Metacritic seems to raise the average (67), but it doesn’t look promising.

First Impressions Galore

Yes, this is a video game blog and yes, we do play games. Honest! Here are a few I’ve played in the last few weeks.

Unreal Tournament 3

This was my first game from GameFly. I’ve never been an Unreal guy but I gave UT3 a try nonetheless. It wasn’t a bad game, I just don’t think it was for me. I gave the single-player campaign a try, but it turned out to be a series of multiplayer matches, only against bots. There was an over-arching story going on there, but I couldn’t follow it. Having Ice T narrate didn’t help things.

I gave the online play a try, but it was total mayhem. The games we played (I tried multiplayer with my bro-in-law) were just total chaos. It simply wasn’t fun. Jumping into other games resulted similarly. If I’m going to play an FPS online, I’ve already invested enough time in Halo 3. I sent UT3 back a couple days after it showed up.

Space Invaders Extreme

After reading Nat’s review, I had to give it a try. This game is a blast. The re-imagining of Space Invaders was done perfect. The sound and music was great, very reminiscent of Meteos. I love the way the rhythm was worked into the mechanics of shooting. Very slick stuff. I definitely give S.I.E. the thumbs up.

Top Spin 3

Top Spin 3 is hard. I haven’t played a tennis game since Mario Tennis on the Gamecube, which isn’t a fair comparison. TS3 is no Mario Tennis. It’s complex, its moves and controls are deep and the gameplay is over my head. Nevertheless, it looks great and plays fun.

I still wish I had some Mario-like powerups (I’d like to shoot a tennis ball through a cannon, Donkey Kong style) but it wouldn’t feel right. I should have a review of TS3 up soon.

So that’s what I was playing. Now that I beat GTA IV, I feel like a big weight has been lifted and I can get back to playing games scatter-shot like I did before.

Ouendan 2? Yes, please

In case you never noticed. We are gaga over Ouendan.

I don’t know why, but we’ve not imported it yet. Apparently, the fine folks at Aeropause have.

I’ve spent a good day or two with this game, and I can say that it is still just as addictive as the first Ouendan.  So what’s so great about this game?

The songs.  I don’t think I have heard such a good collection of J-Pop and J-Rock since the first Ouendan.  The story is…well I can’t say anything about the story other than it has some hilarious scenes.  Who could deny seeing two creepy looking Mario & Luigi plumbers helping a little boy fix his “pipes” so he won’t pee in the bed…all to the tune of a song with …something something Baby in it!

[2 Minute Review] American McGee’s Grimm, Episode 1

Is a developer name able to carry the weight of a game?

Yes?…No. Well, maybe…

DO: Walk all over a candy-coated countryside and stink it up by your presence.

TYPE: Third person platformer.

PLATFORM: Windows PC via Gametap.

PRICE: A misnomer. Episodic. The episode reviewed is FREE via Gametap. Otherwise $3.99 an episode.

MEAT: You take all the good that is in fairy tales and make them evil. Gameplay consists of walking around all over and “butt-stomping” certain characters or items. The more you walk around the more stink power you have. Certain characters can clean up your act, but eventually you can over-stink them. Challenge? Getting the game to run. (Yeah, it’s buggy and they even admit it before you play). Oh wait, you mean a gameplay challenge? Not a single bit. The game has an interesting soundtrack but it’s full of fart sounds and high-pitched screams. For being an “Unreal Technology” game it looks like utter crap. The style is great, but it needs polished. Yes, that is a urine stream in the pic above.

PERKS: interesting premise; McGee’s warped style; timed leaderboards; tongue-in-cheek humor; less than 20 minutes total gameplay; a speed-run game

SCREAMS: premise gets old; to look better; to not be repetitive; tongue-in-cheek humor; crashes on dual core machines; make it a challenge

VERDICT: -. It…uh…stinks. However, the first episode is FREE. If all twenty-three (23!) episodes follow this formula—pass the gas.

Xbox 360 on the Big Screen

Ever want to play your 360 on a HUGE screen, say, one as big as a theater screen? Now you can (via Global Nerdy). (If you live in Canada and near a Cineplex):

Beginning on Friday, gamers will be able to book two-hour sessions at 29 Cineplex theatres across the country for $179 plus taxes. Up to 12 people will be allowed into the session to play their own games, or those from a supplied library, on the theatre’s giant screen with surround sound. The Xbox 360, however, can only accommodate four players at a time.

Why just the 360?

You Won!

Yes, I most certainly did!

Last night I completed the story in GTA IV. I don’t have a lot of time to talk about it, but I will say I thoroughly enjoyed Grand Theft Auto IV. It has its flaws (no checkpoints during missions is criminal) but taken as a whole GTA IV was a great time.

I want to still try and complete the rest of the side quests, get all the achievements, and finally try multiplayer, but it feels good that I can now move on to other games.

Nintendo Lunchbox

No, not a retro lunchbox like this one. An actual Nintendo Entertainment System lunch box.

Summer Vacation

Things may get busy around here this week, as I’m cleaning out some of my old drafts, posting things I should have posted weeks (months [years]) ago. Me procrastinate? Never!

Things were slow around these parts last week as I was deathly ill last week after a bad Burger King Croissan’wich (don’t ask) and then I was busy with the kids. Things at work are crazy busy this week and I’m going on vacation next week. So I want to get out out some posts and possibly have a something queued up for posts while I’m gone. You’ll still be in the capable hands of Nat while I’m gone, and there may be a robo-post in there, but I won’t be around much next week.

The wife and I are taking a trip to the Big Apple. It’s my first trip to the New York City, I’m pretty excited.

Nintendo is almost the most fun a kid can have

You can hear it straight from Bill O’Reilly’s mouth (h/t TheLeetGeeks):

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