File Under: Movies recently reported that CBS Movies has picked up the rights from Square Enix to create a Deus Ex cinematic feature presentation. CBS asserts that they will be working closely with developer Edios Montreal to ensure that the movie stay true to the vibe of Deus Ex: Human Revolution. This news fills me with giddy anticipation as I am a fan of both the original Deus Ex and the aforementioned Human Revolution. More than anything, I look forward to see how the art direction will be translated into motion picture since this is significant characteristic of the game – a visual vibe that appeals to me greatly.

The next day reported that a God of War screenplay has been written – and re-written – by writers whose style would perfectly match a God of War movie. The production details are still hazy. Likewise, a co-producer that will be working on Deus Ex is also responsible for the movie based on the Edios’s Hitman. It is also worth noting that the soundtrack for the motion picture Mortal Kombat is pretty much the greatest soundtrack ever; I remember Super Mario Bros. losing my adolescent interest about 45 minutes into it; Mortal Kombat 2 held my attention but only because Sonia wore a very complimenting form-fitting white tank top; Doom; Tomb Raider; etc.

As of late, big production studios have been harnessing the latest advancements in cinema production and flaunting them (rightfully so) with movies based on comic book characters. These movies have personally held only marginal interest because I am not necessarily the world’s most enthusiastic comic book/superhero reader. So, it’s nice to see that the video game realm, of which I am much more vested, get some Hollywood attention. Although, admittedly, many of these game-to-movie efforts have only produced sub-par results.  But that can all change…

Upon reflection, it blows my mind right out the sides of my skull that there has not been a METROID: The Movie. Not even pre-production efforts, or rough drafts of screenplays; not even the faintest whiff of rumors on message boards. This is wrong. If there is any video game series/franchise in the history of gaming in the entire universe that could redeem not only past game-to-movie failures but of mankind’s shortcomings as a whole it would be Metroid. And I say this not just because I think Super Metroid is the greatest game ever but because, if handled properly, the game’s unique characteristics are as such and malleable enough to translate into different mediums. To an extent this is what makes the PRIME series so successful. Retro Studios recognized what made the original Metroid games awesome and translated the game into a FPS that isn’t stupid. Despite the changed POV the games stayed true to the characteristics of the original Metorids; characteristics that modern cinema production would greatly compliment.

Think about it:

– A foxy protagonist who is like a cross between Laura Croft and Lt. Ripley. Indeed! An interstellar amazon warrior woman sealed within a wicked cool space suit fitted with all the fixins to capture her bounty. I propose (and I will conveniently ignore anyone who thinks otherwise) that the role of Samus be filled by Laura Prepon. She’s got the eyes, and the physique. Her voice is a little manish, but that’s OK because Samus doesn’t talk.


Photo and airbrushing courtesy of: MAXIM magazine


I can see it. Can you?















– Flying neon energy-sucking parasites that, once they’ve latched on, only get angrier and more vicious the more you struggle to shake them loose;

– Teams of technologically advanced space pirates who are addicted to a rare radioactive mineral and will do anything necessary to obtain it;

– Huge, ominous caverns, lit by winged luminescent octopods, that undoubtedly house little alcoves and nooks in where powerups are attained;

– Ruins of an extinct noble alien civilization situated in a snowy canyon under a sapphire sky

– Haunted spaceships, eons after crash landing, that are home to indigenous creatures and flora both beautiful and deadly…

Basically, the game has an overall perfect melding of futuristic technology, extraterrestrial geography, and alien biology. Put in the right hands, the cinematic production of these locations and characters would catch the attention of anybody with a set of eyeballs and even a rudimentary understanding of what makes stuff awesome. The movie’s vibe will operate more on spatial terms in a minimalist fashion than it would in bombastic revelry – that is, until a boss fight. Metroid would be a more unique piece of cinema and one that I would welcome with open arms. And don’t even get me started on what should be on the Soundtrack; that’s a pandora’s box that should not be opened right now.


  1. Now you’re speaking my language. I wonder what Nolan could do with the Metroid story. I would love for it to start out similar to Wall-E or Castaway, where there are huge stretches with no spoken dialogue at all. If they could capture the feeling of lonliness that pervades the Metroid series, it could be amazing.

    And the soundtrack. Oh, that soundtrack.

    (BTW, you’re going to get me in trouble with Mrs. Buttonmasher with those pics 😉 )

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