May I begin this post by squeezing in another type of post to serve as a sub-header. “In My Digital Hands” posts are Sir Tony Buttonmasher’s gig, but this is my post and I’m feeling saucy. So I will post whatever I want in this post. (Say ‘post’ again. I dare you. I double-dare you. Do they speak English in ‘post’?)

In My Digital Hands

I added Chaos Reborn to my Steam wishlist as soon as I caught wind of it earlier this year. And then I removed it along with a few others shortly after because I didn’t want early access games clogging up the list. And then I added it again because of a handsome update I read about. And then I removed it again because I was still chaffing against wishing for incomplete games – But, still, it looks really cool!; better keep my eye on it. See? Even before buying it, the game already brought chaos into my world.

Now Chaos Reborn is out of early access and deemed ready for the masses. Can we confidently say the game is complete? Hardly.

But let us not bemoan this assessment. I read a message board comment that breaks CR down into being 25% PvE and 75% PvP. The idea being that PvE will be expanded by both game developer Snapshot Games as well as modders. There is a great desire in the community for more co-op opportunities in PvE and a more refined PvP experience – and more players. Yeah. More players usually helps…

This is why I decided to throw my hat into the ring. Although, in all honesty, the intricacies of most of the above doesn’t mean boo to me at this point as I am still (willingly) making my way through the tutorials. But I believe that I’ve caught the spirit of the game, managed to look at it from a distance and see what it is and what it can certainly become.

Chaos Reborn is all about risk/reward. I took the risk in buying the game even though it isn’t in its final form (and, really, why should there even be a final form?) with the hope that Snapshot will continue to be true to their refining processes. Considering the resumes and pedigrees of the minds behind the game, I trust that the reward of a tremendous game with tons of content and gameplay modes will far exceed the risk of spending a piddly discount price of $16.

What are you playing this weekend?

Hand of Fate continues to be on my mind this week, though I have not played it. Why? Because I had a MONSTER endless run last Saturday – The most successful ever since purchasing the game. The run feels even more glorious because most of the progress was made utilizing sub-par weapons. My skill carried me through.

I say this not to gloat, but more so to commend the control that HoF gives the player. Part of player skill as it pertains to this game is playing the cards – making tough decisions about resource management and movement, i.e. when to pursue a scenario and when to flee. And then, of course, there is the RNG, which, in this run, completely screwed me in some aspects (player loadout) but gave me slight advantage in others (the ‘High Constitution’ blessing. Nod your head enthusiastically if you know what I’m talking about!) This give-and-take setup enables very satisfying gameplay. And, specific to last week’s endless run, raised my level of expectation so high for future runs that I’ve been getting myself amped all week to give it another go.

While we’re on the topic of beating Personal Bests: I want to say a little something about a little twin-stick shooter called Waves: Hachi Machi! I sat on Waves, un-played, for nearly a year. Twelve months it was there in my Steam library, consistently being overlooked. Bruh, why did I do this to myself? This game is so good! On a whim I booted it up earlier this week and I haven’t even looked back. It is intense, satisfying, maddening, blood boiling, orgasmic, instinctive, hectic, etc, etc, etc, et-freaking-c. There are divers game modes, but, bruh,

Survival is where it’s at (Nod your head enthusiastically if you know what I’m talking about!)

Often, after blowing up, I blurt out, “I can’t play these types of games anymore! I’m too old for this crap!” And yet, there’s my high score from a previous run, taunting me, flirting with my wife, always in view. I must surpass this number. I will surpass this number. Indeed. No other game I’ve played in recent memory has me score and achievement chasing like this.

And what of Hearthstone? Will I ever achieve my PR of Rank 14 again? I accomplished this back in February, and have since fallen away from the game. I stuck around back then just long enough to incorporate Goblins vs. Gnome cards into my decks and make my way through all but one of the Naaxramas wings. Since then I have watched from a distance the release of Blackrock Mountain, Tavern Brawl, and The Grand Tournament. My monthly inactivity forced my rank back down to 25.

Come to last Friday. ‘Wouldn’t it be cute’, I thought, ‘to jump back in like no time has passed.’

Well. It wasn’t cute. Hearthstone has moved on without me. It has become a foreign, scary place with all kinds of new devious machinations. Being a stranger in a strange land made gleam the things about Hearthstone that turned me off all those months ago – Primarily, the realization/inevitability of my worst fear which pressed so deeply upon my heart as I sat high upon my Rank 14 lookout: Hearthstone is now exclusively pay-to-advance.

This was an obvious, bitter pill to swallow as I sat there playing my old burst Shaman against these new confangled monstrosity decks. Likewise, I play against decks at these low levels and it is clear they flushed a considerable sum to obtain so many legendary cards… And that turns me the hell off.

So, will I ever achieve Rank 14 again? Probably not. I just don’t care enough to make it happen. I used to enjoy earning the gold from daily quests. But now it will just feel like a grind. Buying packs on a shoe-string gold budget is a total wash because there are so many new cards.

The wild card here is the Arena. I was never very good at Arena. But, as I want to continue dabbling in Hearthstone, this may be the last bastion of hope. The gameplan for this weekend will be to do a few quests and bank up enough gold to buy a few admissions into the Arena, and to hopefully get to a point where my Arena career can be self-sustaining. Nod your head enthusiastically if you know what I’m talking about!

What are you playing this weekend?

Hand of Fate possesses a strange kind of appeal for me. It adroitly plucks a happy nerve that I didn’t even know I had, one that is deep in the quagmire of my psyche. Because of this, I find it difficult to put into words just why this game resounds so strongly. This is new territory, compelling and frightful.

After loading the game, I will often stay on the main screen and soak in the environment presented before me: I approach the dealer’s table empty-handed. He greets me with a mesmerizing cloud of cards, flaunting his power to control. Are the cards whispering or is that sound just the breeze flitting through the main hall of the citadel where the dealer’s table now sits? The music washes over me, adding to the intoxicating effect. I look into the dealer’s eyes and wonder how many players before me sat in this very chair. How many failures have these steely eyes witnessed? How has he honed this game, refined it? What does this current iteration hold, and how will the dealer adjust it after I am through? Yes. I sit trying to gain a deeper understanding of just what is happening here, and how this new-found wisdom can alter how I play the game once it starts. The game seems so simple and I can become so very powerful, and yet the dealer is the one drawing the cards. Who truly has the upperhand?

…Of course, all of this is not really applicable to the game; I could just log in and go, go, go. But Hand of Fate is presented so soundly, so confidently – it is so utterly sure of itself that I can’t help but fall under its spell. Even now, after completing the main story mode, I still play endless runs because the game is just that much fun.

At some point this weekend, while in the depths of Hand of Fate, Sir Tony Buttonmasher will message me. Like a finger tapping on the fish tank, the head-splitting boom will jolt me, jolt me back to the immediate world.

“doto?” He will ask.
“k”, I will reply.

And just like that, the gears will shift from immersive single-player happy time to international multi-player potato fest. We’re never the potatoes. Never.

Lately, I’ve been mostly playing offlane. I do not have the patience to be a hard carry and I got bored playing support all the time. I want to start kicking up dirt right at the horns. Offlane affords me the opportunity to be ham-fisted and just a little bit reckless. And I. Am. LOVING. it.

Phoenix was a surprise pickup for my limited yet growing hero roster. I tried him (yes, Phoenix is a ‘he’) in a bot match and was initially repulsed, nothing about this stupid fire bird made sense to me. James Buttonmasher suggested I try again. Long story short: Phoenix is now my most successful hero and is on the fast-track to becoming my most played. He is the embodiment of what I want out of Dota: I want mobility; I want disruption; I want team fights; I want to befuddle enemy carries.

Offlaners may not have the stats to crow about, but that’s because their influence is on a grander scale. They operate outside the bounds of K/D/A. They adapt. They create space. They are the wild cards.

What are you playing this weekend?

I don’t care anymore.

This is what I just repeated aloud to myself ad naseum after ragequitting a session of Alien:Isolation. I’ve made considerable headway into the campaign, albeit done with babysteps, sometimes even days inbetween loading the game at all because of IRL matters. And up until very recently this staggered approach to playing didn’t seem to cause my interest to wain. If anything my anxiety and excitement would brew to a simmer, making the next gaming session all the more engaging.

The main campaign in Alien:Isolation is criticized in several reviews for being too long. I chose to look past these subjective remarks and just rolled with the punches. I came to recognize firsthand that the game has a fantastic pace, that it shuffles up scenarios and forced restrictions to keep the gameplay fresh. It succeeds in this.

But, something happened in my brain this past week. My desire to endure the suspense of this cursed game began to wear thin, and it reached the snapping point just now.

Though, I am not blaming the game… I don’t think. Due to it’s psychological nature, perhaps this game is best approached when the player can dive in and dedicate extensive play sessions. Time perhaps numbed my anxiety and excitement and replaced it with apathy and an overall bad attitude. So when the campaign reaches a point where I have multiple Xenos prowling around, it’s easy for me to throw up my hands in exasperation and ragequit and then write a Weekend Gaming post about it.

Alien: Isolation has been a wild ride, one that I will probably resume later on. Even though I have zero (0) desire to complete the game at this point I am still glad I made the purchase. The missions through the San Cristobal Medical Facility was worth the price of admission as it is.

What are you playing this weekend? (Because I have no idea what I am.)