Mashing buttons since 1984
I’m so unbelievably weak.
If the store had only had the normal version of the game, I could have easily resisted. But of all of the collector’s editions this fall, this is probably the most substantial. And for what you get, the cost difference was worth it in my mind.
To make penance for my lack of willpower, I am going to leave it sealed and wrap it up in gaudy paper and leave it under my Christmas tree until December 25.
It seems as if I may have struck a small nerve on the Internet that generated some good ideas about how violence—mainly in video games—and kids go together. For some it’s not necessarily peanut butter and jelly and for others it’s not avoidable.
I has thought about responding to the comments in the original post, but in following up on links, track backs, and even a podcast (awesome!), I figured it’d might be best if I culled them all together and responded to them. Many people seemed to share the same ideas so I’ve tried to pick the best comments on that idea to post.
First I have a comment from Corvus of Man Bytes Blog
What I’d be even more interested in hearing about is the conversation you had with your son after he did that. The conversation about context and consequence–about the role of violence in the expression of anger. He may only be 3, but if he’s already capable of correlating shooting daddy dead with being upset, chances are his messages are coming from outside the home. Play dates with the children of less-aware parents perhaps?
The first thing I did was share with him that it was wrong to shoot people. He’s only two years old, so I found this rather difficult at first to put it in terms that he would understand. He was not disciplined for it, but he was warned that he would be disciplined if it happened in the future. It’s been almost two weeks and he’s not responded this way. My wife and I think he did not pick it up outside the home but from his older brother, who’s five.
darrenl from Common Sense Gamer had this to say about the exposure to violence being inevitable:
I have the same issue with this and my 7 year old daughter…but I keep this in mind when she’s playing it: she’s going to be exposed to violence in one form or another whether I like it or not. I would rather be the one to coach her through those feelings than someone else. Having the ability to seperate fantasy from reality is key here and I think video games are a great medium for teaching that lesson…so are books, and movies.
I don’t disagree that being exposed to violence will happen. It’s just a matter if I’m there when it happens or if I have prepared my two boys to disassociate it from reality. Let me give this food for thought: I’ve read a large number of books recently that dealt with current events in the military (Black Hawk Down, Generation Kill, etc.). Every book has mentioned that soldiers in the heat of battle remarked at how much it was like being in a movie and/or video games. Some of them even had a hard time consciously realizing that they were physically vulnerable to the violence that was all around them—and this is my formulation—because they had grown up being passive observers.
Pete S from Dragonchasers had this interesting comment about violence and age:
I’ve actually noticed the same thing in myself. I really don’t need to spend 40 hours watching people being eviscerated anymore. I don’t know if its my age, or that the technology has improved making everything look more realistic, or what.
I think “tone” plays into it a lot for me, too. For instance, Uncharted… I played through it and loved it. I appreciated the lack of blood and dismemberment even though I was shooting humans, so it really didn’t bother me. It was just like its inspiration: saturday afternoon adventure films.
The flipside for me is Bioshock. I played part of the demo, and found it fairly horrific. One of the first things I had to do was bludgeon an insane person to death. Then start jamming needles into myself. No thanks. I understand that the story is amazing and all, but I just wasn’t going to be comfortable playing the game.
Of all the comments I read, this one got me to think about myself more than any other comment. I too have noticed that as I’ve gotten older I no longer want shock, I want something that will get me to think—something that has an excellent narrative. I found Uncharted to be dull (although I have not completed it—yet) and Bioshock (which is discussed in the posdact listed below) to have an excellent story coupled with atmosphere. When I played the demo, I was appalled at the violence it contained. Surprisingly, I found my self playing the game months later and overlooking the violence and language because of the presentation. I do intend to complete both games. They are the only two I chose to keep, but I’ll be getting rid of them as soon as they are completed. However, one look at my gamercard shows that most of the games I play (on the 360 at least) are casual or toned down games.
Jason O from Unfettered Blather went the opposite direction:
I do kind of wonder if this is really necessary?
Young boys have a tendency to act out. I kind of see my role as a parent in helping them understand what is and is not appropriate. I don’t worry about the games so much, but I think content is important to.
Sooner or later they’ll pick this behavior up.
Necessary? For a two year old, yes. Sure, he will pick this behavior up. This was a popular comment. It ranged from a “why bother” mentality to idealic thought. I played “guns” in the neighborhood when I was kid. I know he will too. However, at this time in my family’s life, it is utterly necessary. That may change as they get older, but they will be sheltered until I deem it necessary. They cannot make decisions for themselves. Eventually they will. My goal as a parent right now is to make sure that when the time comes they make wholly appropriate decisions. This doesn’t just apply to video games either. It covers movies, books, music, people (one I think parents forget…kids are influenced by their peers and other people), and many other things that don’t fall under the previously mentioned items.
Lastly, I mentioned that a podcast covered my post. Shut Up, We’re Talking is a podcast “covering recent topics found within the MMORPG Blogging and Podcasting community.” I don’t play any MMOs anymore, but I found this hour to be highly entertaining. (If MMOs are your thing, give it a listen.) The discussion on the post starts at 16:20 in the audio.
I really don’t want to quote the audio, because I do think you should give it a listen. They didn’t quite agree on my total removal of the games because of separating fantasy from reality needs to be managed and learned. I will respond by saying that their own children referred to in general we’re older than my own. They felt it was more appropriate to share the experience and work through it with the child. It’s something I intend to do with the boys in the future. This is not all to different from what has been mentioned in previous posts (one of the podcast’s hosts was a commenter). Empathy was also mentioned as a perspective that needs to be put into the equation as well as accountability (especially under the guise of Internet anonymity—I’m looking at you Xbox Live kids).
I agree that there is no way in which I can protect my child from everything. I don’t want to put them in a box. It seems to me, the children that I knew who were the most protected or too protected were those most likely to “go crazy” when the inevitable freedom from parents materialized. Yes, they do need to differentiate fantasy and reality and right and wrong, but it’ll be on my terms.
I do play games with my boys. In fact, most of my game playing is with the boys. In some aspects, I look at this “Walking Away” as buffer for myself. (However, see my argument for an overly violent game such as Bioshock posted above. I’ve not played it since making the decision, and wonder if I ever will. Maybe I should have just traded it in as well?)
To followup, I do want to say thanks to everyone who made a comment. For the most part, they were all well thought out and added to the discussion. One person had mentioned on another blog that he pretty much allows anything to go into his son’s eyes. The child didn’t seem to be bothered by it and was alos highly intellectual. I think it shows that each child is different—even among the same family. Parents need to be specifically aware of each personality and temperment their children have. To each his own, but may to each his own be the best that the child needs.
A week ago, my soon to be three-year-old son was being corrected for doing something wrong. He was upset by it. That’s not really a bad thing to be upset when you are corrected. Making your hand into a gun and yelling “Bang! Bang! Pew! You’re dead, daddy!” is.
Before you raise any preconceived notions, my wife and I are very controlling of our two boys (5 and 2) as to what they watch, hear, and play. I only play violent games after they have been put to bed and I even go so far as to hide the games in a closet. Even then, I don’t play many violent games because, presonally, they affect me. That’s not was this post is about. Also, I don’t want this post to delve into the video game violence debate. I just want to share what we as a family intend to do about it.
Two days ago my wife and I were talking late in the evening. I was lamenting my recent poor parenting skills and the feeling like I had not ever really grown up. It was then she mentioned video games. My wife is not a typical nagging video game spouse. She never pressures me or makes me feel guilty of what I play or purchase. (There was a time where she called them my “second wife” but that was me being stupid early in our marriage.)
She mentioned the idea of getting rid of video games. I was surprised by my initial reaction: agreement. I think it surprised her to. Actually, at first I misunderstood her. Her intention was for us to get rid of mature games. Once again, I was surprised by my answer. Let’s do it.
Starting on Labor Day, I took inventory of all my titles and if they met a certain criteria, they were added to a pile to be traded for credit.
Using the ESRB ratings, the pile started to stack up: Halo 3, Mass Effect, Gears of War, Call of Duty 4, Viva Pinata—animal sex! Ok, just kidding there—, Assassin’s Creed, Crackdown, Bioshock, Uncharted, Metal Gear Solid 4, Okami, Metroid Prime 3:Corruption, Ghost Squad, and recently acquired Too Human.
A couple of things I did find interesting is that all the Wii game’s ESRB rating descriptions used the term “Animated Blood” and some of the ESRB ratings were too vague in their descriptions or maybe even a little off base. For instance, Too Human has a description of “Blood”. Either I am blind or I’ve been desensitized, but I don’t remember any blood. (Maybe in a cutscene I’ve skipped?)
My next step was to examine or remember the specifics of the titles. I decided to keep Okami, Metroid Prime 3, Bioshock, and Too Human. Three of the titles I’m still slowly playing through, and the latter title I didn’t see it as being overly violent or meeting the criteria. It’s new, and I’ll probably trade it in when I find it just sitting there. Bioshock is the one title that I’m keeping that certainly falls in the list above. I am so impressed by its atmosphere that I truly want to finish it. Once I do though it’s gone.
This really only applies to consoles and not my handhelds or PC games. The boys don’t even know I have a DS and PSP and they don’t have access to the PC. Of course, I’ve only got the Hal-Life series, Tie Fighter, X-Com, and a bunch of RTS games on my PC—and I hardly play PC games anymore.
The response I’ve received from offline and online friends has been from agreement to indignant, stupid remarks. Jokingly, someone asked me what I would then play. Actually, I don’t think I’ll miss all that much. There are a lot of games out there that are entertaining and are family friendly. In fact, in the list of games above only two did I really struggle with keeping. In the end, I decided to get rid of them. I hadn’t really played anything from that list in a while anyway. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve gotten older, but overly mature or violent games don’t really impress me that much anymore. Most—and I say most—have become formulaic. I’ve had more fun with games such as Geometry Wars, Everyday Shooter, LEGO titles, racing games, and casual games in the last couple of years more than anything.
We don’t know where our son picked up the gun gesture, but I’m not taking any chances. My only guess is that he may have overheard me playing after he was in bed. More likely, he saw it on TV or a movie. Video games aren’t the only thing we are cracking down on. My wife and I are currently working on TV and movies too. We already are restrictive in what they watch. Now, we are taking it a step further in really policing what we watch.
I believe it all to be for the better. There are so many things my family could be doing other than zoning out to a screen: reading together, drawing, walking, bike riding, just talking, fixing meals together, and playing. Of course, this all leads me to when I am going to play the games I own. That actually brings me to another Gamer Responsibility topic: time spent playing games. (I hope to address that soon.)
This also means that you probably won’t see many reviews or posts from me on violent games. If so, they will be rare. But you know what? I believe that to be ok. Life will go on and my family will be better for it. They (and many other things) come before personal entertainment.
My mom used to fix this pork chop dinner that may have been a precursor to beef jerky. I wasn’t allowed to get up from the table until I had finished the meal. Many glasses of water and what seemed like an eternity later I was able to walk away from the table with pride.
I wish mom had that kind of power over me when it comes to the games I buy—new and used. I’ll admit I’ve not been the best at completing games. I like what Jason does at Unfettered Blather tracking his purchases compared to the enjoyment he gets from the game. I’m a stat junkie. Things like time compared to cost and enjoyment entertain me.
Somehow, I don’t think I’m alone. I would venture to say that more gamers don’t complete the titles they have or get. If so, why do we fork over the big bucks for the latest titles? Consumerism? Materialism? The need to fit in? Why do I do it? Why purchases games and then just play them a little bit? I’ve got five $60 titles on my shelf now that I’ve played once or twice. Yes, time may be an issue for some games (RPGs), but I think there there has to be more. I’ve not really thought about why I do it.
I’d like to explore this topic a little more. Here’s where you come in. I’ve created a little poll. Cast your vote.
[poll id=”2“]The post will be availavble on this post and in the sidebar.
Wii Fit comes out this week.
Nintendo, please…stop.
Actually, my wife and I were excited about the possibility of Wii Fit—more so about the possibility of using Wii Fit. We’re not getting it now. For having the cheapest selling (more on that in a minute), fastest selling, and most unique console, Nintendo kills you when it comes to peripherals. I would assume that most readers here who have a Wii don’t just have the basic remote and nunchuk.
How many other games are going to use the Wii Fit peripheral? Looking back, how many used the drums, dance pads, guitar(s), microphones, wheels, etc. other than their bundled games?
Since the release of the console, it appears that almost every AAA first-party title on the system has needed more than just the Wiimote. Sure, many titles can be played with just the included controller, but many of those same titles play better with the nunchuk (also included). Let us see: Super Mario Galaxy, Mario Strikers Charged, Metroid Prime 3, Mario Kart Wii, WarioWare: Smooth Moves, Super Paper Mario, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Wii Sports, Wii Play, and Wii Fit. Yep, it seems as if every title needs a controller add-on. Excite Truck may be the only other major title that can be played with just the remote. It looks like the good ol’ ‘chuck needs to be used on most of them. What happens when you add a player? That $250 console just became a $310 console (another controller plus nunchuk). Now add two more players.
Ouch. We’re in Sony and Microsoft territory now. Their better online play exempts buying another controller for me. I have two 360 controllers. Interestingly, most third party titles get away with just using the standard remote. Of course, they don’t have a need to sell an add-on either.
We won’t even discuss the “classic” controller which is not really all that classic in look, style, or feel. (another $20). And the Wii Zapper? Terrific.
A couple of the games listed earlier let you use the Gamecube controller to play, and ironically it’s even preferred by most gamers on one title. Speaking of Gamecube, I own three drums and two dance pads. Ask me how much we use them.
Why do we need all these extra controllers? Why? I’ve not even touched on all the guitars and instruments that usually work for one game or their sequels…maybe. It appears that the next Guitar Hero is going to have it’s own instrument set. My guess is that it’ll even be exclusive. I really don’t know. I could care less about the music games—Boom Boom Rocket is my level of video game music depth, oh, and Audiosurf—a music game that doesn’t need an extra device to play. In the end, some gamers are going to have more instruments than most real bands.
When I saw the Wii remote for the first time, I was pretty excited about the possibility of playing games with as few buttons as possible. Control simplicity seemed like it was back in our grasp, so to speak. Pointless thinking. (Pun gloriously intended—both times). I will admit, however, that the Wiimote/nunchuk setup for some games is rather intuitive. Excellent, even. I cannot imagine Metroid Prime without it. Keep the gaming design there. Stop. No more add-ons—by anybody. Nintendo is certainly the leader, but, terrifyingly, it appears that the big money is in peripheral bundles.
We already have a Rubbermaid box by our couch that holds all our system controllers and add-ons for a 360 and a Wii. It’s full—a five gallon tote. No more room for another device will use for a period and it’ll sit in the box not to be used for anything else.
The game we keep coming back to: Excite Truck.
Gamespot: 10 out of 10. Game Informer: 10 out of 10. X-Play: 5 out of 5. IGN: 10 out of 10. 1UP: A+. Gamespy: 5 out of 5.
I would not be surprised if GTAIV is Game of the Year. I’m not playing it, and I probably never will.
Here are my reasons in no particular order:
There are just too many reasons not to.
I’ve changed. In the past, I would play any game that was popular or a triple-A title without any regard to content or subject matter. I just cannot play a game where it’s good to be bad. I pretty much avoid games where you are a serial killer, psycho, or just some crazy going postal. The GTA games let you do just that. You’re rewarded for being evil, and not just a satiric or comedic type of evil. Generally, the worse you are the better. I’m not against violence. I like playing Crackdown and Assassin’s Creed, but even then I don’t play them all that much anymore. Now, someone will argue that I really don’t know the game because I’ve never played it. However, there’s so much about GTA in popular culture and reviews that I’m pretty sure I’m not too far off the mark.
Violence and language affects you. Argue this as much as you want, but playing games influence you. Any game. There is no way around it. Another argument is that anything we watch, do, hear, and feel influences a person. Over the past year I’ve come to realize that when I surround myself with violence I tend to be more agitated and have a shorter fuse. I’m also tempted to use language I shouldn’t when I hear a lot of it. That’s not good. I generally avoid movies, comics, books, and games with over-the-top violence and language.
I have two kids under the age of five. Why even fall into the trap of exposing my boys to this? Will I be able to protect them from everything? No. This is me being a responsible parent. By the way, the adult games I do own and play are put up and out of sight from the kids. I don’t watch movies or play games until after they are in bed.
My job. In working with teenagers, I am appalled at how many of them know about games such as the GTA series or any other type of game that the ESRB says they shouldn’t play. It’s only too obvious: they’ve played them. Gamers, publishers, and designers can scream all they want, but these type of games are being played primarily by kids. Who’s to blame? Parents? Retailers? Gamers? Publisher? Designers? You? Me? No one really knows, and that debate will go on forever. I’m trying to influence kids to live good, clean lives and uphold at least a modicum of morality. It gets difficult when I’ve got to break up a group of kids sharing gaming tips when it’s time to teach them. Oh, and it’s not just games either. Movies like Superbad (Quality matches title? Brilliant) and their ilk are just as to blame.
I know some of these reasons are tied together. Do I think anything negative about people who play these type of games? Not at all. Each person is allowed to set their own standards. I just feel that if no one at least stands up and reminds us what we’re really surrounding ourselves with and sucking into our lives what it is we might become. If not, we may see games where you can drive spikes through a person’s skull, come up with creative ways by killing a person by cutting their genitalia, and exploring all ways to strangle a man. Oh, wait…I think we’ve got that on a couple of titles.
If I may, allow me to break the fourth wall of buttonmashing for a moment.
As some of you may know, I am an associate pastor of a rural church. One of my primary responsibilities is working with young people. A goal of mine is to lead and encourage them to live in faith, morality, genuineness, and to make an impact. In speaking with young people (who may even be like some of our readers) I am always trying to get them to see what is really important in life. Often in this society—especially in America—we spend most of our lives trying to escape it. Video games, movies, music, books, sports, parties, technology, and other such forms of escapism are moderately not bad, but can consume a person’s life.
Sometimes people forget. Why are we here? Many people think it’s to try and be happy, maybe even by pursuing the escape of life. I don’t think that is the reason. I believe it to be all about the impact we make on those around us. If we build a better life for just ourself, does it make it worth it? How about if we build a better life for another person?
You may have heard of Dr. Randy Pausch and may have seen his “Last Lecture” video. This is a person who doesn’t have long to live but is making an impact on those around him. His escapism is his life. The following is a ten minute presentation he did on Oprah that sums up his initial talk. I believe he gets it. He’s not a gamer (that we know of—he is a geek, however), but he knows about gamer responsibility.
Escaping to the world of video games is not a bad thing. Living the world of video games can be another thing entirely. Who does it benefit?
A few years ago I spent over 2,500 hours in Guild Wars. I have nothing to show for it other than lack of sleep, mini-arguments with my wife, and times lost that I could have spent with my first child during his toddler years. My evenings and Saturdays were full getting ultra-rare intangibles. I learned from that experience, and now I spend most of my time with the two boys I have.
Yes, there are times that we spend playing video games. Other times we read, we draw, we paint, we tell funny stories, we watch birds in the back yard, we travel, we disagree, we agree, and we talk. We live. As a gamer my responsibility is to not always be one. Yes it is something that I like to do, but there are a plethora of things that are more important.
I chose this topic for my first posting on gamer responsibility because I think it goes beyond just playing games. It’s foundational for how we should look at them. It’s foundational for how we should play them. I know that many arguments can be made for being immersed in video game culture, and I’ve not addressed any of them. That’s not what this is about. All I ask is who does living a life of virtuality impact?
It’s over.
After almost five months, I just cannot do it. I’m not going to be able to complete “The List.” It’s just gotten to be too painful.
A couple of days ago, Jason from Unfethered Blather (Not reading it? You should be.) left a comment here that summed up perfectly one of the feelings I have evolved towards in completing my games.
I am trying to either finish all of my games or at least play enough of every game that I can honestly feel like I’ve gotten something out of it.
I went back to my chart and calculated based upon reviews and FAQs how much time out would take me to complete “The List.” It came to roughly two and one half months—straight through. I then figured for the insane normalcy that is my life and it came to almost a year and a month just to finish them. Uh, I think it just became a job. What Jason said should probably be true. In the back of my mind all this time I had been doing a quick assessment of what games I had gotten enough playtime and enjoyment out of. That led to two things:
The second item is something that I want to focus on over the next couple of weeks. Being a person with a limited budget, how can I be a more responsible gamer. What are some guidelines I can follow so I don’t just blow good, hard-earned money on crap? There’s just too much to choose from in the digital entertainment industry, and it’s probably high time I start being “adult” about it. I’m actually thinking of starting a series called, appropriately enough, “Being A Responsible Gamer.” I’ve certainly thought about it enough over the last five months.
All too often, I think gamers in general, are the worst fad followers in the world. We move from game to game and release to release. Of course, it’s no help that the developers and retail industry make it possible to purchase games before they are released. No, don’t get it on release day. Get the satisfaction that you get it ASAP. Very rarely, if ever, have you known a game not to be available. Most are very easy to find. (Yes, there are some exceptions. I recently tried to find Puzzle Quest for the DS as a birthday gift.)
I would like to address issues of money, time, quantity, morality (yes, there is such a thing), kids, and even quality in the upcoming weeks. Now, it’s just time for a gaming clearance at our household. “The List” will still be around, it’ll just be much smaller.